If there is one thing that contributes so much of how we think, feel and act in life it what we believe about ourselves!
Your beliefs determine the amount we put out in life in are career and at home with out family.
Your beliefs also determine how you will “interpret” what other people say to you and what events mean in your life. How you feel and react will depend on what you believe.
Let’s take a practical example...
Suppose there is a person named, “Dave”, he has a core belief that makes him feel inadequate, it may be something like, “I am a failure.” When Dave is offered a promotion, he is nervous to take it, since he feels that he won’t succeed.
(Everyone probably gets a little nervous when offered a new job so depending on the individual, their belief may be on a ‘continuum’ scale, from a light negative belief to a highly severe and damaging belief).
So what can Dave do to help himself?
In this workshop I will explore 3 different ways of attacking the negative belief.
Before I explain the practical steps to take I have to tell you about how your core beliefs effect your everyday thoughts and your ‘rules’ you have in you life.
Basically the beliefs you have about yourselves do two main create patterns in two different ways in your life.
They create rules through which you which you live your life by and they form automatic thoughts that determine a lot of your conscious and subconscious responses to events in life.
A rule is a set of compensatory beliefs that are a function of you core belief. They govern how you react to situations to compensate for a belief you have.
Let’s take an example of Dave above who has a belief that he is a “failure”. One rule that might manifest as a result of this belief is that, “If I don’t take control of most situations than people will think I am a failure.”
The rule that demands the person take control is in fact a function of their deeper belief that they are a failure.
Automatic Thoughts are the natural reactive thoughts we have to events. The meaning of the thoughts are often related to our core beliefs. To continue with our example of Dave. When he is offered a promotion from his boss some of the automatic thoughts he may have may be, “Oh wow I want to say yes but I just feel overwhelmed over the responsibility of handling the situation,”
(in Dave’s situation I am describing someone who is competent enough to complete their work and should have the confidence from that. Someone who is not competent from previous experience would be correct to feel out of place with the offer)
That is just one of the several thoughts Dave may have regarding his promotion. Note that his thoughts are connected his core belief that he is a failure.
So where do all these crazy beliefs come from?
A lot of it has to do with your childhood and major life experiences. Basically they form when you are in an
emotional state of receptivity or vulnerability.
Don’t worry though you can change them!
Let’s begin by analyzing the automatic thoughts Dave is having.
The relationships between Dave’s thoughts, emotions and situation is multilayered:
This workshop is based upon current research in cognitive behavioral therapy, providing promising solutions to anxiety and depression. CBT is predicated on the idea that there is a three way relationship between one’s thoughts, feelings and subsequent behaviors. CBT is a key therapeutic technique that that is at the forefront of stress management and mental health.
As displayed in this diagram the situation that stimulates Dave’s thoughts and resulting mood are not necessarily in a rational manner. The automatic thoughts and mood Dave has from the event is highly influenced by his core belief.
Dave’s automatic thought of “Maybe I will do poorly after my promotion” when given a promotion is influenced by his core belief of, “I am a failure.”
Automatic Thoughts
The first step Dave can take is challenging the automatic thoughts. He can do this by ‘examining the evidence’...